Work in progress

I am a work in progress. We all are. Lately the parts of me that have been under construction are difficult to face. I know it's good to be working through these things, but I haven't been handling with the amount of grace that I would like. One of the most difficult things about this process (for me) is admitting what my junk is and then taking responsibility for it. I'm emotion driven and tend to react to issues in an emotional way. Not always the best thing to do...especially when I often vocalize what I'm feeling without considering the consequences. I'm working on it, but I think it's going to take a lot longer to work through this than I'd like...it already has.

So, here I am in the midst of another "growing experience" that I'm sure will feel good once the construction has been completed. Then there will be another part of me that needs some work. Hopefully I'll be willing to accept the work sooner.

Rear-ended!

We had our first camping trip last week in our new (to us) tent trailer! The weather at Fort Stevens was perfect!!! It was so much fun...we had a great time connecting as a family and with some great friends. I needed to complete my final day of week 1 of couch to 5K while we were there. It went great-it was so amazing running/walking on the winding bike paths, through beautiful treed areas, while hearing the crashing waves in the distance. It made the time I spent sucking air almost worthwhile.

As I was walking back to my campsite during my cool down, a young girl ran into me from behind on her bike. My body jolted and I went down hard on the pavement. Luckily, I was able to cushion the collision for her (another reason why I'm doing this whole running thing). I'm doing okay. Still pretty sore, but today was the first day I could lift my arm over my head with out shooting pain running down my arm and shoulder.

Because it took me a few days to recover, I didn't start week 2 until today. It went well...as well as it could. I am actually starting to enjoy the running parts (up until the last interval, anyway).

So, my lessons learned this week are: running can be fun, but it does come with risks.

I'm Baaaaack

So...it's be a while since my last post. To be honest, I started to post something quite a few times, but I really didn't have anything productive to say. I've been in a wilderness of sorts and it hasn't been fun. I don't know why...maybe I never will, but I've decided that I'm tired of waiting for it to pass before I post anything. I haven't had many positive thoughts and there are many days that I've felt further away from God than I ever have. I also don't know the reason for that, except for the fact that these wilderness times are supposed to be normal and my desire for it to end as soon as possible isn't really doing me any good.

Things are actually pretty good at the Yamashiro house. We've been affected by the economy, just like everybody else, but each month the bills get paid and we know the only way that's happening is that God is providing it...there's simply no other explanation.

I do want to start blogging again. It helps me to work out what's flying around in my mind. It also helps me stay accountable when I'm working towards a goal. Which is what I've been putting off along with posting. But, the last time I had a solid goal, I posted on my progress here and it helped me stay on track.

What's the new goal? Well, almost the same as the last one. I need (and want) to be healthy. I'll be turning 40 in a year and I've been asking all of those milestone questions we ask ourselves. I want to be a fun mom who is always eager to play and go on new adventures. The problem is, I'm so tired all of the time. Some of that is hormones (another "plus" of getting older), but a large part is also laziness and lack of energy, which are directly impacted by my lack of exercise. So, tonight I started a new fitness plan-Couch to 5K. I'll be posting my progress here and, don't worry, even though I won't be in a gym where I can accidentally fall off of a treadmill, I'm sure I'll have plenty of other interesting stories about my (mis)adventures.

That's it for now. Not sure if anyone is actually reading this anymore, but I'll do my best to update at least once a week. Hold me to that!

Wisdom from little N

When people's faces turn red it's because they're embarrassed or because they love somebody.

Why I Relay

It started out just like many of the other Fridays before it. My closest girlfriends and I had season tickets to the Broadway series touring through Portland…5th row seats for Saturday night performances. Normally we would send emails back and forth all day beginning the Friday before the show, discussing everything from what we should wear, where we should eat and if we would be heading anywhere after the show. Lori had been uncharacteristically silent that day. She hadn’t chimed in on any of our emails, but I had just assumed it was a really busy day for her at work. At around 5pm my phone rang, it was Lori. “Jenn, I’m not going to be able to make the show tomorrow night.” I was trying to come up with some snarky comment when her voice broke, “Lillian has a tumor in her brain, it’s cancer.” What do you say to someone who has just told you that their precious two-year-old has cancer? I don’t really remember much of the rest of our conversation.

For the next 7 months, I watched my dear friend do everything she could to help her daughter fight this ugly disease. Sweet Lillian lost her beautiful brown hair and her adorable chubby cheeks. About a month before Easter, we celebrated the fact that Lillian had completed chemo…things were looking up. Then, something took a hold of her precious little body and after a month in the ICU, Lillian lost her battle with cancer. It was just a few days before Easter and I remember thinking how surreal it all was. I was working for my church at the time and had been spending my time preparing to celebrate the resurrection of Christ, while watching my friend say goodbye to her little girl. I felt so helpless and hopeless. I wanted to do something…something to show Lori and her husband, Jeff, how much I love them…something that would help ease their pain…something that would ensure that NOBODY would ever have to watch their loved one battle such a hateful disease.

Then we met Becci who soon became so dear to us. Becci had just lost her mother (who was also her best friend) to breast cancer. Becci asked if Lori if we participated in Relay for Life…we didn’t…yet. Three years ago our Relay for Life team, Walking with Angels, was formed (http://www.walkingwithangels.net/). We are a team lead by two of the most amazing, courageous women I’ve ever known. Lori, a mother who lost her daughter to cancer and Becci, a daughter who lost her mother to cancer. I relay for them as well as in memory of my great-grandfather and in memory of my husband’s grandfather. We are also a team that likes to have FUN! We have won the spirit award every year that we have participated.

If you would like to participate in our team, please let me know. We are a part of the Lake Oswego Relay for Life, which will begin at 10am on Saturday, July 11th and goes until Sunday, July 12th at 10am…you can join us for all or a portion-whatever works best. We are also hosting a fundraiser at Papa’s Pizza on Tuesday, June 16th from open to close. 50% of all proceeds (when you bring in our flyer) will go to the American Cancer Society. There will also be some drawings for some really cool prizes. You can go here to see the items (let me know if you want to purchase raffle tix for them): http://lori-thenextchapter.blogspot.com/2009/05/relay-for-life-fundraisers.html.My family and I are planning on being at Papa's at around 6pm. Finally, you can make a donation directly to the Walking with Angels team. My individual goal is to raise $500. You can go to http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY09GW?px=3728953&pg=personal&fr_id=14746 to get more information or make a donation. How cool would it be if we could find a cure to cancer in our lifetime? Please join us in the fight!

Another Year Older...

Today, my "baby" is celebrating his 5th birthday. Little N has brought so much joy and laughter to our home and family. He is so much like his daddy, even down to the way he walks. His favorite things are having lightsaber and kung-fu battles with his dad and older brother, riding his bike, doing yardwork (although you wouldn't be able to tell from the current state of our yard) and creating artwork out of things he finds in the recycling bin.

Our little N absolutely adores animals and many of the neighborhood dogs love seeing him at the park. He's all boy and can be really physical (his preschool teacher has had to help him remember that pushing a buddy is probably not the best way to tell someone that you don't like it when they stand too close to you) but he also can be so sweet. He often will drop his legos or Star Wars action figures to come and give me or dad a quick kiss and hug and then jumps right back into his playtime. He also has a very vivid imagination...just today my sister was telling me a story about a 10 foot Lego tower he built. When she asked a few questions to get more details, he was happy to oblige...although he did admit later that it was actually a dream.

I am so excited to see how his personality will continue to grow and what his interests will be. I pray each day that he will grow up to be a man who is passionate about life and sharing his love of God with others. The photo above was taken at our church a couple of weeks ago. In it, the children are signing a piece of drywall that will be hung in our new worship center. Little N came home that night and told us how he and his friends prayed for our community. Such a grown up statement for such a little man! Happy birthday, Nater. I love you!!!!

Conversations from the backseat

I overheard this conversation today as the boys and I were driving to drop my younger son off at preschool (my oldest didn't have school-teacher work day):

Little N: There's this girl in my class who wants to marry me.

Big N: How do you know?

Little N: Well, she tells me she wants to marry me and then she pushes me down on the ground.

Big N: Ohhhhh, I don't think you should marry her. She doesn't sound like she would be a very good wife.